Jezebel: 10 Reasons Why Ryan Lochte Is America’s Sexiest Douchebag
…according to MTV, that wasn’t the first time Lochte ascended the podium with his mouth glittered up like Toby Keith’s USB tour thong. Ryan Lochte has had that America bling for more than a fucking year. HOW has he not gotten punched squarely in that smirking, adorable, grill-sporting jaw at least once a week?…
This article is the best article that ever articled. All of it. ALL OF IT.
…dammit.