Posts tagged nyc

1 Notes

1117 Notes

Don’t touch women and don’t talk to them.

emilygould:

Last night after the No Regrets event I took the F home and there were two incredibly drunk guys in my car, middle-aged white guys in button-down shirts, not young fratty bros.  They were hugging a pole in the middle of the crowded car, talking to each other loudly, moving unsteadily, slurring their words. I was worried, like I am 50% of the time on the subway at night, that vomit might happen on or near me. But they were only bothering each other, til they started talking to a woman who was sitting in the outer seat of a two-seat facing them, effectively underneath them, such that to talk to her one of them had to put his hand on the metal pole right behind her head so that he was sort of crouching over her. She had big, obvious neon green headphones on and I couldn’t see her face because of the direction her seat was facing. And she had a book open, but they were talking to her anyway. I couldn’t hear anything she said. She laughed at one point but to me it sounded like an uncomfortable laugh. Everyone else in the car was looking at these guys, looking at her, looking at each other, saying nothing. And then the louder of the two guys I guess wanted to get her attention because maybe she went back to her book and stopped nervously appeasing him so he reached over and touched her shoulder, not hard, just like “hey,”

DON’T TOUCH HER, I screamed.

"Whuh? Hey, I’m just … mind your business, we’re just talking," or whatever nonsense, he slurred.

DON’T TOUCH WOMEN AND DON’T TALK TO THEM. YOU’RE DRUNK. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. DON’T TOUCH WOMEN AND DON’T TALK TO THEM, I screamed.

He protested, he called me “McSweeney’s” (!!) and he called me some other names, including, of course, “crazy,”  But other women in the car chimed in, telling him to lay off, back off, calm down. And I got off at the next stop, so I don’t know what else happened.

41 Notes

chels:

The MTA has pics up on their Flickr of several new peregrine falcon chicks living on top of three New York City bridges. Wildlife specialists tagged them and shot a bunch of great photos, and these little birds seem to have googley eyes and also the most incredible eyelash/feather situation on their faces. 

BAYBEEEEES

202 Notes

SantaCon

richardlawson:

It snowed the day the Santas came

To maraud across our town.

We’d hoped the snow would make them tame

Alas it did not calm them down. 

And so with belch and roar and rumble

They staggered o’er our lands 

Girls in heels that made them stumble

Boys with beers in hands. 

They hooted hollered yelled and screamed

For they knew their numbers vast.

They partied harder than they’d ever dreamed

All ripshit wasted to the last.

They clustered outside Irish bars

Familiar havens all 

They ran reckless out in front of cars

And would often trip and fall. 

What soiled Santa suits we saw 

When they invaded us that day. 

Matted beard and tinseled bra 

Calling strangers gay. 

Twas futile really to run or hide

For they could not be escaped. 

We’ll never know how many died 

Or if anyone was raped. 

Years from now when we’re all gone 

We hope they’ll tell of us. 

The wretched souls who saw the dawn

of the Santa party bus. 

I venture out now into the white

To see what horrors rage 

If what befalls me I think might 

T’will be my final Tumblr page.

Adieu adieu remember me

I wish you better luck.

I know not how this came to be

Honestly, what the fuck. 

3 Notes

It is SHOCKING how few New Yorkers actually know the words to these extremely popular Christmas carols. I mean, really.

Billy On the Street: Christmas Carol Ambush with Amy Poehler!

28 Notes

brokerbodega:

**~OMG~**! SICK DEAL ON THIS XXXTRA CHUNKY GEM IN THE HEART OF SOHO (SOUP/HOT)!!! __COLOSSAL__ CHUNKS SO BIG YOU’LL NEED A SHOVEL!!! ($5100)- Sterling aluminum fixtures + retractable balcony- Available A*S*A*P* with microwave recipe!!!

fucking genius

brokerbodega:

**~OMG~**! SICK DEAL ON THIS XXXTRA CHUNKY GEM IN THE HEART OF SOHO (SOUP/HOT)!!! __COLOSSAL__ CHUNKS SO BIG YOU’LL NEED A SHOVEL!!! ($5100)

- Sterling aluminum fixtures + retractable balcony
- Available A*S*A*P* with microwave recipe!!!

fucking genius

164 Notes

Have Fun Paying For His Therapy

hotel-job:

Man walks up holding small child.

MAN: Have you a trash can? To put him in. He is garbage.


These are real things tourists say to Times Square hotel concierges.

So very, very real.

1 Notes

This is happening tonight!
You should come if you a) love to laugh about the tough stuff; b) enjoy an after-work drink; and c) are interested in your money going, in part, to a foundation that expands educational opportunities for young women, namely Soledad O’Brien’s.
Also, you should come if you want to hang out with me, cos I’ll be there, too.
Get your ticket here.

This is happening tonight!

You should come if you a) love to laugh about the tough stuff; b) enjoy an after-work drink; and c) are interested in your money going, in part, to a foundation that expands educational opportunities for young women, namely Soledad O’Brien’s.

Also, you should come if you want to hang out with me, cos I’ll be there, too.

Get your ticket here.

7234 Notes

New Yorkers Aren’t Rude. You Are.

johnskylar:

And I mean that title with the utmost of respect.

I’ve been a denizen of this fair[ly crappy] city my entire life, in one way or another.  I spent some time in LA during college, but don’t worry, I got over it.  The one thing, though, that I’ve consistently heard from around the US is that New York is a rude city.

This is, I feel, based on a fundamental misunderstanding of what this place is.  

Read More

Hey tourists!

59 Notes

millionsmillions:

"The New York of our imaginations has to end sooner than that — maybe it collapses under the weight of our own preconceptions, or maybe pinning so much responsibility on a city serves to mask the way the passage of time can alter us: when we arrive we are willing and eager to fold ourselves into different shapes, to make ourselves fit, but as we grow older, acts of contortion become more difficult, or at the very least, less desirable."
Farewell to the Enchanted City by Elizabeth Minkel

millionsmillions:

"The New York of our imaginations has to end sooner than that — maybe it collapses under the weight of our own preconceptions, or maybe pinning so much responsibility on a city serves to mask the way the passage of time can alter us: when we arrive we are willing and eager to fold ourselves into different shapes, to make ourselves fit, but as we grow older, acts of contortion become more difficult, or at the very least, less desirable."

Farewell to the Enchanted City by Elizabeth Minkel

187 Notes

americanguide:

CONEY ISLAND - BROOKLYN, NEW YORK

Summer crowds are the essence of Coney Island. From early monrning, when the first throngs pour from the Stillwell Avenue subway terminal, humanity flows over Coney seeking relief from the heat of the city. Italians, Jews, Greeks, Poles, Germans, Negroes, Irish, people of every nationality; boys and girls, feeble ancients, mothers with squirming children, fathers with bundles, push and collide as they rush, laughing, scolding, sweating, for a spot on the sand. … From the boardwalk the whole beach may be viewed: bathers splash and shout in the turgid waters close to the shore; on the sand, children dig, young men engage in gymnastics and roughhouse each other, or toss balls over the backs of couples lying amorously intertwined. Luncheon combines the difficulties of a picnic with those of a subway rush hour; families sit in wriggling circles consuming food and drinking from thermos bottles brought in suitcases together with bathing suits, spare clothing, and water wings. …

After sunset the Island becomes the playground of a mixed crowd of sightseers and strollers. … [The] shouts of competing barkers become more strident, the crowds more compact. Enormous paintings in primitive colors advertise the freak shows, shooting galleries, and waxworks “Chamber of Horrors.” Riders are whirled, jolted, battered, tossed upside down by the Cyclone, the Thunderbolt, the Mile Sky Chaser, the Loop-o-Plane, the Whip, the Flying Turns, the Dodgem Speedway, the Chute-the-Chutes, and the Comet. Above the cacophony of spielers, cries, and the shrieks and laughter, carrousel organs pound out last year’s tunes, and roller coasters slam down their terrific inclines. …

About midnight, the weary crowds begin to depart, leaving a litter of cigarette butts, torn newspapers, orange and banana peel, old shoes and hats, pop bottles and soiled cardboard boxes, and an occasional corset. A few couples remain behind, with here and there a solitary drunk, or a sleepless old man pacing the boardwalk. The last concessionaire counts his receipts and puts up his shutters, and only the amiable roar of the forgotten sea is heard.

New York City Guide (WPA, 1939)

* * *

Martina Albertazzi is a Guide to New York and New Jersey. She’s a freelance photographer who was born in Rome, but has now settled in New York City. Other than photography, her biggest interests are: her dog Ugo, people, good food, good wine, and books. Follow her on Tumblr at martina-albertazzi.tumblr.com.

4 Notes

Feels nice and relaxing to lean on that pole, eh? Just treating that pole like your own personal leaning area? Stone cold relaxing, on the crowded train? Hey, guess what, THE POLE IS FOR EVERYONE TO HOLD, so get the fuck off the pole.

74 Notes

hackthemet:

This is a 17th century robotic drinking game. No joke.
*FEATURED WORK FROM THE MUSEUM’S COLLECTION*
Diana and the Stag by Joachim Friess, ca. 1620
Imagine it’s 1620 and you’re at a super VIP soiree….it’s fancy and all but the music sucks and the drinks are weak. Your host needs to pick up the energy so they reach for this gadget, pop the stag’s head off and fill its hollow body with the strongest booze they can find.
They then set it down, wind it up, and send it zigzagging across the table. It lands in front of you and you know that means it’s time to chug (it ALL). Rinse and repeat. PARTY SAVED.
More official info at http://www.metmuseum.org/Collections/search-the-collections/120008332
For more information about our VIP tours of the Met, see us at www.HackTheMet.com

Well THIS thing is totally fucking awesome.
And guess who gave it to the museum from his own personal collection? J. Pierpont Morgan. Yeah.

hackthemet:

This is a 17th century robotic drinking game. No joke.

*FEATURED WORK FROM THE MUSEUM’S COLLECTION*

Diana and the Stag by Joachim Friess, ca. 1620

Imagine it’s 1620 and you’re at a super VIP soiree….it’s fancy and all but the music sucks and the drinks are weak. Your host needs to pick up the energy so they reach for this gadget, pop the stag’s head off and fill its hollow body with the strongest booze they can find.

They then set it down, wind it up, and send it zigzagging across the table. It lands in front of you and you know that means it’s time to chug (it ALL). Rinse and repeat. PARTY SAVED.

More official info at http://www.metmuseum.org/Collections/search-the-collections/120008332

For more information about our VIP tours of the Met, see us at www.HackTheMet.com

Well THIS thing is totally fucking awesome.

And guess who gave it to the museum from his own personal collection? J. Pierpont Morgan. Yeah.

25 Notes

Speakeasy business cards.
Source: the Time-Life series This Fabulous Century.

Speakeasy business cards.

Source: the Time-Life series This Fabulous Century.

150 Notes

areasofmyexpertise:

The good people at Brooklyn Vegan found this bootleg video of @Mountain_Goats singing with Anonymous 4 for me.

This accompanies my Brooklyn Vegan year end list, which you can find HERE

Last night’s Ragnarok preview in Long Island City is long island OVER. But I still stand behind the choices I made in that column, and tickets are still available for RAGNAROK PROPER, this friday at the Bell House, HERE

That is all. 

This was one of the MOST AMAZING and SPIRITUALLY FANTASTICAL live performances I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I am so so so thankful I was there in person to see and hear this.